Anonymous: What is relationship anarchy?


The Thinking Asexual defines relationship anarchy as such:

relationship anarchy – This is a relationship philosophy which goes one step further than polyamory and generally dismisses any preconceived ideas about relationship structures, drawing clear lines of separation between “friendship” and “romantic-sexual relationships,” relationship hierarchy, or categorizing relationships according to their behavioral and/or emotional qualities. Relationship anarchy rejects monogamy and the idea of love being finite or limited, in the same way that polyamory rejects that paradigm. Relationship anarchy, however, seeks to dissolve rigid emotional distinctions between sexual and nonsexual relationships, romantic love and friendship, in a way that polyamory usually does not. Relationship anarchy rejects emotional hierarchies of relationships: both the ranking of one romantic-sexual relationship over another and the ranking of romantic-sexual relationships over nonsexual and/or nonromantic relationships.

You can read more at the Relationship Anarchy Manifesto.

To me, relationship anarchy is about consent and explicit negotiation. Not just consent in sexual relationships, but consent in the boundaries of the relationship itself. When I have a relationship with someone, even if they don’t identify as a relationship anarchist, I make sure to ask them exactly what they expect out of the relationship, how they experience attraction and affection, and what kind of boundaries they want to set. And further, it is an open and evolving process of negotiation, so I often check in to make sure everyone is happy with where the relationship is. I think everyone can practice this as relationship anarchy about treating others ethically and with respect and acceptance. My relationship with Rel has been hugely enriched since we began to negotiate our relationship on these terms. Further, it adds a new layer of depth and consideration to each and every relationship I hold, whether or not you would call that relationship a “friendship”, a “romance”, a sexual partnership, or whatever. To me i don’t have different categories of relationships that mediate my experience of other people, but rather, I experience people directly. Like all anarchy, relationship anarchy isn’t about being against structures; rather, structures of relationship (like boundaries and labels, for example) are explicitly negotiated and consented to.

To me, my coming to relationship anarchy has to do with my romantic orientation, which makes it difficult for me to distinguish between different kinds of affection. However, I also consider it an excellent model for ethical relationships in general, and I encourage all people to take these principles to heart whether or not they choose to identify as a relationship anarchist. To me it’s more about what you do, and the most important thing to do is respect others and their boundaries.

I hope this helps,


Without government, who would start the wars?


Johnny Hobo and the Freight Trains // DIY Orgasms


sir, officer joe from smalltown usa might rescue puppies and donate to local charities, but as a whole the police institution is a disgrace to society



Do not hate homosexuals, bisexuals, asexuals, ect
But do not hate heterosexuals.

Do not hate trans*gender, agender, non-binary people
But do not hate cissexuals.

Do not hate people of color
But do not hate white people.

Do not hate women
But do not hate men.

Do not hate Christians
But do not hate atheists.

Hatred only breeds more hatred. Is it that hard to understand?

This needs more attention than it’s gotten.